so, i get a text message this morning.

recently i had a guy who wanted to take me out (sidenote: his potential dealbreaker – he was on the reality show millionaire matchmaker and he is, as it turns out, a millionaire. he doesn’t know i know either of these things. many things are mildly alarming about him, the least of which being that he’s very wealthy. there are too many other red flags to list. but i’ve always said that i would go on any date if asked unless i felt concerned for my safety, which was not the case here. and i’m not perfect by a long shot. weirder connections have been made, i guess. plus, i was oddly excited to go out somewhere and pay our tab myself – i can’t explain why.)

at any rate, he asked for my number a few weeks ago, and i gave it to him. and his text to me this morning was, “so who is this again?”

did i mention HE ASKED for my number?

my ability to attract the malfunctioning, bizarre, mentally and emotionally inept men of the earth is increasingly alarming to me. i can only assume that, instead of being amazingly unlucky, there is some characteristic i exude, either consciously or subconsciously, that leads these men my way. or, and i’m hoping this is the case, that this happens to many other women – they’re just not dumb enough to admit it to people, like i do freely. i mean, really. why highlight your flaws like that? like i do?

i’m going to have to start charging admission to my disaster blogs. to pay for the therapy.