since autumn, and more importantly halloween, is approaching, i would like to bring up one of the least discussed subjects on earth. and one i have given many hours of thought to with no clear answer. candy’s dandy (but liquor is quicker). i crave candy.

i’m not a chocoholic, like many of my female friends out there. i like sugar, and in copius amounts. suckers are tops, but i will enjoy anything covered in or loaded with that lovely confectionary substance. starburst, jelly beans, jolly ranchers, mike and ikes, it doesn’t matter. and i can eat lots of it, in one sitting, without the nagging tummyache that i used to get as a child. i’ve conditioned myself, you might say.

but there is one candy that can only be eaten in small amounts, the only candy of it’s kind, and that is candy corn. why is that? i could ingest (and i have) a half pound of gummy bears in a flash, and still be ready for m&ms. but for some reason beyond my comprehension, candy corn is lethal. you’re enjoying it, and suddenly you become violently ill when you have that one too many. why doesn’t any other form of sugar behave like this? what makes candy corn different? it matters not whether you eat them whole, or, like i do, bite off the colored sections individually. there is a candy corn tolerance threshold, and i have crossed it. and i will again this year.